19 March 2012

Cole's "Status Quo"

Jake is an observer and a social scientist in that he collects data of people's behavior (more specifically their reactions to him) in his head. He wants the attention, but is still a little introverted. He is suspended and decides to collect data of the delinquents he has to sit with, and realizes that they are good people.

The diction the narrator uses really delights me. Jake calling the other students' behavior as data is great. Him calling detention a natural habitat. Calling the kids creatures. "I had never been able to pin the tail..." All that stuff is really good. I wished you used it a bit more, though. For instance he calls a joint a joint, and I wished he had called it something else, like a marijuana stick or something. Just to get away from the slang of the English language if you know what I mean.

The last line is also really great. I think a few more buzz buzzes would make it even more impactful though.

I also think that there needs to be a set up to how Jake views the kids in detention before the actual detention. Does he think they are terrible people? How does he view good and bad behavior? He doesn't seem to have an opinion on any of that stuff. I think we need that to really feel Jake's surprise at their actions.

Also here is a song that I feel like Jake would love:

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