A story about a boy who is sexually abused by his mother without knowing it. (Also implications that while the act themselves are horrible, the reasonings behind them don't have to be?)
Okay, you said I would get squeamish reading this and I secretly denied it. (This is coming from a guy who likes to watch movies like Salo or Antichrist (never again, for reasons other than squeamishness) or Irreversible (a movie that inserts a noise that humans are unable to hear which can induce nausea) for fun. Hell, I had a screening for Salo and ten people showed up).
But I felt...I wouldn't say squeamish, but extreme discomfort. So nice job!
I think the thing that did it, that made the piece work so well, was the set up. At first I thought the scene was overly precious and overly sweet. You know how kids pretend to vomit whenever they see their parents kiss or something. Kind of like that. But it needs that in the beginning to make the abuse more discomforting.
And the overly preciousness tone takes on an extremely dark turn, which was very nice.
Two suggestions and one question:
Suggestion: I know that the kid-speak gives the story even more preciousness, but it got annoying to be honest. Kids don't call people they don't know Mrs. Lady. Especially when they are taking their mom's away.
Suggestion Two: I think that Matt should go all out tantrum mode when his mom is taken away. He should be scared. He has failed to protect his queen. He needs more emotion than quiet acceptance.
Okay three suggestions: Do you think we could get more specifics into his mom's psyche? I'm assuming that she felt no love from her husband, and had no outlet to feed her love (sexually) that she displaced those feelings onto Matt. But normally, those wives would just find another man, right? What makes the mother go for her son? I'm sorry, but for now I don't have any ideas on how to show this given the limited point of view, maybe I'll think of something before tomorrow.
I'll ask you the question during my respondent time.
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