Dress Rehearsal

To go along with your story, I thought it would be pertinent to post a song about a failing relationship! Yay!

Dress Rehearsal seems to be about Kate and her search for her own identity. Her sister seems to be delaying her self-actualization or something along those lines, but Kate takes care of her anyway. All of this is surrounded by the play Kate is in and the future prom.

You're very very good with dialogue. I really like the exchange between Diana and Sean in the auditorium. The "actually you have the same chin" line works in more ways than one. It's funny and shows a lot about Sean. Each character has their own different voice and their own different issues they want to discuss. I would be careful on how you present the dialogue though. There are moments where there is a bit of dialogue that's part of a larger paragraph, and sometimes I got confuses as to who was speaking. Page four, for instance: "Marching right up to the driver's side, he rapped on the window until Diana rolled it down. 'Wanna go to prom with me?' " Since you mention both Sean and Diana in the last sentence, the dialogue could have gone to either one of them. And since Diana was last mentioned, I thought it was her, but I don't think it really was after I thought about it.

To me, though, there doesn't seem to be too much tension. There is definitely room for tension, but I don't think it's there on the page yet. There's definitely supposed to be tension between Sean and Kate, but I don't know enough about their relationship to know the stakes of the decision she is asked to make. I just know they are best friends. I know that Kate has a problem with self-identity (which, having a twin brother, I can really really relate to) because of her sister ("My math teacher called me Diana again"), but we don't know how much it really effects her. My guess is not much because she still wants to help out her sister as much as she can, and in the end. Incidentally, I really wanted you to explore that to a much larger extent. I found that aspect of her really interesting.