The Truth Behind the Window

I'm just putting songs on here. You can listen to it if you want! This one is really good, I think.

This is about Christina, a suburban wife, poorly compensating for her unsatisfactory life by looking at the unsatisfactory lives of others in her neighborhood.

There are some good and funny situations in here. The air headed guy who loses his keys and, instead of getting in the car to stay dry, he just sits in the rain and gets soaked. The stuck up girl being, well, stuck up and unaware of how things work. (I do think Christina was acting a being a little harsh towards her. I mean, she's just a little kid. She doesn't know better. The father shouldn't be such a push over, though.) And I also like the image of all of the birthday stuff being on the side of the road as a brag.

My main problem with TTBTW, though, is Christina is such a passive character that it's frustrating. She does nothing but sit there and look at people the entire story. While the neighbors are being active, Christina is your main character and should be more active than them. The story has no propulsion because of it. There is a moment where the story says that there was no reason for Christina to leave her spot next to the window, but I think you need to make a reason for her to leave. Get her out of her comfort zone. That's where I see the conflict and tension arising.

Another way she's passive is with the relationship with Theo. He's mean to her and she just goes, "Whatever you say, dear." As it stands, I don't feel that Christina has totally earned her numbness. I think we need specifics at what got her to this state of mind. Did her first child die crossing the street and the husband fake cry? I don't know, that's a bad example, but we need something. All we are given is that she believes her expectations don't meet reality.

The voice is also very disorienting. It starts off pretty formal and omniscient, but then really informal phrases will pop up and make it sound like a biased character's voice. Make sure you keep it consistent.

Hope this helps and if you listened to the song, I hoped you liked it!